THE CHILD WITHIN
A Journal From William Samuel & Friends
Spring 2001

 

ABOUT HEALING
Part One

Dear Reader,

If the words that follow are applicable to you and yours, you will know it and find something meaningful in them. If you feel you have progressed "beyond," please don't let my selection of terms bother you. Every turn of the pathway presents a different view of the river. We set our easel and paint the picture that suits the moment.

I look out at Myself around the world and hear the cries of so many who are looking for a healing, a demonstration, a confirmation of God's presence-to what SEEMS no avail. I write to that part of Myself-and am helped.

There was a time in my affairs when it seemed I could do almost anything for others but nothing for myself. The healing I most needed was elusive, no matter how great my effort or steadfast my faith - and I didn't know why.

At that time, though I didn't know it, I was laboring with a delusion that was necessary for me. It was a plateau, so to speak - a stumbling block of especial significance that insisted on a re-examination and re-evaluation of every step along the way. Having no alternative - and certainly to human sense, in need of a healing - I made the re-examination and took the step it insisted on. There was new inner Light immediately. The healing followed quickly as an added joy.

In retrospect, it was plain I had not been willing to take the final step. Why? In some kind of strange and prideful arrogance, I believed I had already taken it! Such is the subtle nature of the deceiver, the liar, the old man and his metaphysical arrogance. In my experience I do not know one who has not stumbled on this plateau many times, as I did - or, to human sense is sitting there yet wondering, wondering...

Read on.

From the beginning of time, healing has been associated with the deeper things of the divine Mystery. But take heart. Deeper only means "more difficult" to the intellect of us not the heart. To the heart, the deeper things are closer to Simplicity.

From the top-down perspective, the use of the word "healing" is a concession to words. To begin (in thought) with God, thence to reach out to the present appearances of "the world" is to understand and utilize an infinitely superior view of things: that GOD is absolutely all of everything - and that GOD is not in need of a healing.

To this old/new view, we apprehend that the appearance of a healing is the natural confirmation of God/good, appearing right here to this present awareness that reads these words. Such healing is not a boon for the old sense of "me and God" but the consequence of the "me's" naughting by our willingness to LET God be all. Healing may well appear as a return of comfort (or supply or whatever) but that is only how it seems to the intellect of us. All-rightness and well being are the natural state for God's Self-awareness (Life.) To whatever extent one awakens to let go the old and claim this Self-awareness as the real Identity, he is brought to the place he can begin to experience that sense of comfort and all-rightness, provided... Provided what? Listen, listen: For me there was another step in this apparent "process." I will try to explain - but I assure you, the heart will have an easier time than the intellect comprehending what is written here.

One brings oneself - via the road that God is all in all - straight to the Fountainhead, directly to the Living Water (where we always are, in Fact.) But then, like suicidal lemmings, many of us, like me of yore, stand there and refuse to drink the water - all in the name of the philosophy "of the Absolute" which doesn't let one admit that he actually has need of a healing.

"Oh, that isn't absolute enough!" I said to myself time and again. "If I admit I need anything, I'm admitting to a selfhood apart from God and I know perfectly well that is impossible." So it was, I stood there at the very Place to drink, refusing to admit contritely I could "really" be athirst! ("There are many around the cistern.") I stood there athirst shouting "God IS ALL!" while intellectually unwilling to make the final surrender and admit that the body of me, the flesh of me, the human of me still seemed TO ME to be in need of the Water of Living Life, unwilling to bend the me-knee to Allness. In the name of God as all, I was unwilling to FULLY surrender. "God isn't thirsty," I said over and over - while wondering how such a noble and difficult (and FAITHFUL!) stance could go on so long without the reward I thought I was due. Reader, precisely as it should have been, I was slowly and painfully brought to discover that this absolute stance was being conducted by the OLD nature of me, the IMPOSTER, playing at being God!

Tender reader of my heart, I as Bill Samuel do not know even YET-in-time if I have sufficiently let go that shadow of Me. I only know I am WILLING to let go of every vestige of me-ness, or whatever else is necessary "to see as I am seen." Compre?

Do not hang judgmentally on these hapless words with the intellect that can only see all persons as lost and as helpless. Your heart can ingest these blatherings and see Me naked - the very SAME Child of God YOU are - contrite, humble and not vaunted up. THEN, as the heart forgives the old man's weaknesses, it perceives how necessary they were to bring us to the High Estate.

We do not surrender the wisdom that God is all. No, no. That is the knowledge that leads so swiftly to the Source. But there, which is here, we stand humbly and contritely before God, (Listen!) willing to ASK for the healing drink we seem to need so badly, virtue and pride of accomplishment as nothing before the Light. Then we ask - and receive! We ask and confidently expect to receive the concrete, tangible CONFIRMATION that only God is going on - the Heritage promised us from the start.

The Awareness which once arrogantly stood WITH the Light is encompassed AS the Light, the two now (in time) made one. "When you make the two one..." Spoke the Christ Light, "then..."

"Let him who has ears to hear..."

Nothing has been read once until it has been read twelve times. Please don't stop short.

It has been shown me in a thousand ways that others do not HAVE to suffer what I have suffered - provided I have myself seen beyond that suffering to the light of day.

"Others" ARE my Self - and I have no other purpose on this earth than to help them (you) FIND the same Light of Joy that has found me. Clearly, everyone isn't hanging from the same hook nor languishing on the same plateau, yet everyone of us is about the same business. The Father's business.

These words then, written to myself, declare that the long years of human suffering are not in vain! They say precisely what the Christ Light has said before: Blessed are those who suffer for they shall see the Light... You have come from the Light and you shall go there again... Listen to me...

Kindest love from Alabama, William Samuel

Dear Bill,

I am filled with a feeling of age and hopelessness. The world seems to be rushing past at an ever faster clip and I am unable to keep pace with it. I long for the old days when I could stay abreast of the times and even surge ahead a bit with extra effort. Now I am fortunate to eek out a meager existence among the youthful, energetic, fast-moving young people who have not yet tired of the awful pace...

Dear Paul,

Within the human view of things, the rat race quickens. The pendulum swings faster. The highs are higher and lows lower at both ends of the action. But Paul, in all of this frantic activity, where has there been the least change in the purpose of it? Peace - contentment, happiness, tranquility, security - has ever been the goal of human effort. To identity as a human is to identify as a hunter in search of one goal after another. The hunter's search for happiness out in the thing-oriented boondocks is simply going more and more afield.

Happiness is not to be found in that far country or anywhere else as though it were not present this instant. You suspect this. More, you know this. We come home to find what we have been looking for. We come home to the Real, and rest. Once the treasure has been found there as Identity, we are entitled to end the frenzied search and begin to perceive the universe from our new position. For a time, and at recurring times, this appears to be a view of "others' still rushing to and fro, swinging like senseless pendulums from one futile effort to the next. It is the old hunter's role in us that would regret being unable to join the search and take to the fields again with those "who have not yet tired of the awful pace."

Oh, but there is no need to maintain the pace! There is no need to follow the ebbing, flowing tide of man's mad dash to ego-fulfillment, ever searching for what the very search precludes. We come home to the goal of their search and let the appearance of dashing humanity go on about its not-so-merry way to upheaval and hell.

Our tranquility is spied, recognized as the aim of their struggle, the goal of their search, the target of the hunt. You may very well expect that some will come asking about it, willing to listen to what you have to say. These are "the one in a thousand, two in ten thousand" who, as appearances go, are the ones able to comprehend and find the peace that is ours. They hear again the words of a quieter time to which they gave no heed while anxious to perpetuate an impossible ego; but NOW, in what appears to them to be their awful frustration, they hear the same words of old - and listen to them... You know the words, Paul: "Come unto Me (Identity) all who are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest. My peace give I unto you. Rejoice! Rest! Be of good cheer..."

This peace is quite beyond the hunter's understanding because it allows us to LET GO the hunter's drives and instincts that would have us trying to keep pace with the wild pendulum. It is beyond human comprehension because it allows us to be still and know - to be still and rest as the goal itself, as tranquility, as the pearl of great price, as the Shekinah, as the Christ to this conscious experience, as everything the hunters are beating themselves to death in search of. "Comprehendest thou this?"

So, Paul, should the "feeling of hopelessness" seem a part of the scene, we recognize it as the empty, powerless feeling it is - another aspect of the old hunter's instinct. Old habit that we can have done with. The smell of smoke.

We are not hunter's anymore. We have found the new identity, the goal of the frantic search. We have found the Alone One, the ALL-one, the Only, the Single Light which is the light of the scene. That one is the ISNESS, Light, the conscious awareness reading these words. That one is the Christ Truth who says, "be of good cheer. All things whatsoever I have, give I unto thee. The kingdom is AT HAND, right HERE, right NOW, I will never leave you nor forsake you..."

Dear Paul - dear reader - where is any need for a feeling of hopelessness or helplessness in such activity as this?

Herein we find the divine motives for God-directed balanced ACTION such that our doing is absolutely Self-fulfilling and Self-satisfying.

We live one Awareness as all; stand fast on this ground; refuse to have two awarenesses on the scene; THEN - bit by bit, precept upon precept, and without a conscious effort - we find the MEANINGS of the events transpiring in the world. Knowing the meanings, the reasons for the appearing may also be known. Insofar as we may be "personally" concerned, the "what to do about them" is always known!

We live this "single identity" refusing to be the "old man" on the scene agonizing over his miserable mess. How do we live the "single identity"? By being conscious of the fact that this consciousness is God's SELF-AWARENESS about the business of being this awareness I am. We awaken to the fact that we are not another, THEN STOP ACTING AS ANOTHER.

God really is love, but the love God is is not out there, separate and apart from me. It is here AS this one I am. Love is not an action I am to engage in first; love is the Identity I find myself to be. Then, then, every action is automatically love's action - and it is not possible to be unloving, unwise or unwanted.

Love to you from the trails between Alabama and California, William Samuel

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